I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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