Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette