apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
