Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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