I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented taco cereal.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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