you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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