we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
They left me at home... I'm a liability
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
