But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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