um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I have aggressive nipples.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
