Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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