I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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