why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Randomize
