can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
