I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
