I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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