there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
