i don't like sucking hair
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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