Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize