We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
