When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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