I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
if only i could text you this smell
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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