This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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