I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
