You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
