Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
