brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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