Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
