I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
