I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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