Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
