he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
