we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
