guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
