do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
My pussy is not your playground.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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