we have officially lost it.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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