So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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