we're chasing vodka with high fives
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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