Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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