the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
