sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
