and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
