It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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