butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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