my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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