he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
