The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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