is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I can't turn off my feet"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize