Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
