He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
The adults are the big ones right?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
