So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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