Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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