try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
