Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.

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(804): View more from Virginia

just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I have no recollection of sleep choking you

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(503): View more from Oregon

There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order

Fav 3 1011 1970
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(313): View more from Michigan

Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on

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(304): View more from West Virginia

i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy

Fav 7 707 941
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday

Fav 0 529 653
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(503): View more from Oregon

I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.

Fav 2 58 15
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(319): View more from Iowa

we live vicariously through your huge boobs

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