so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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