K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize