Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
