yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
