I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
