So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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